Dear Tourettes Syndrome of the Foot,
I know that it must be terrible to have your foot jerking uncontrollably all over the place, especially when you are out in a beautiful setting trying to enjoy Mother Nature at her very best. I am sure that it pains you every time your heel kicks out the only safety measure that keeps our little ones protected from falling dangerously into the bacteria infested oyster beds. I am sure that you can barely sleep at night knowing how hazardous you have made such a pure and simple pleasure in the lives of so many people. You probably work extra hours at your minimum wage job without overtime compensation just to make up the monetary difference it costs our tax dollars to constantly send out a county worker to replace all the broken lumber. I am sure you meditate at night in thankulfullness for the extra trees you have felled in order to fulfill your haphazard ways. I am sorry for the extra burden this has cost you and the guilt you must feel everyday and I can’t wait to tell in person…really!