A cold hearted Rant :)

I don’t know about you…but when September comes dragging in I will do my best to not complain about the suffocating heat, terrible gangs of insects that barrage my personal space and the flattering acne brought on by overuse of sunscreen… because I am officially over winter.

I am not an efficient hibernator, I live to be outside.  My closet is not equipped with essential clothing items listed in the Lands End catalog, designed to keep the heat trapped between man made fibers and my alligator like skin.  I do enjoy “winter” for two maybe three reasons…I don’t have to shave, I can forget about my laundry in the washer (however 2 days is officially too long) and I am a large fan of fires (bonfires, campfires…not the large scale your county is on fire types- of course.)  I am aware that this isn’t really cold and there are people freezing up north and that’s probably why I have intentionally never lived any further than 29.4742° N, 81.1269°.  I have tried (try is a 3 letter word for FAIL… as my swimming coach used to say so eloquently, just before he threatened me with copious amounts of butterfly or even better, flicking dip at me from within his taut cheeks- yup, really happened) again, I have tried to look on the bright side as the bitter wind blows through my body, icing up my bones causing me to turn on the heat which sets off my allergies.  I have the amazing capacity to sneeze more than 8 times in a row, many times in an hour and have even thrown my back out doing so, just this past Thanksgiving. It is truly a gift.

I know there are positives and that the winter season has a purpose…like it is supposed to help eradicate some of our insect population, temporarily, certain plants require the cold to help them achieve their maximum blooming status and apparently we can’t feel like we are on vacation all the time.  So in the end I’ll just be thankful for the little things…I’ll just have to find my glasses so I can see them.   Just Kidding- I don’t wear glasses.


Cheers to National Belly Laugh Day-