Due to the fact that I am somewhat overwhelmed and it’s pretty clear that Kyle’s rhetoric is uncannily popular… I am dishing out some more of his creative verbiage.
Beware however there are no sensors:)
Next time a person says something like “I’m only human” you should give them a second look and respond “that sure sounds like something a robot would say”.
Every couple weeks or so I scan the “Free Stuff” section on Craigslist. I just found an ad that said “Free fire wood, you collect it”. So I wrote the guy back: “Bud, you just wrote an ad for the woods.”
My son Taj’s plumbing comprehension:
Me: “Ok boy, flush the toilet.”
Taj: “Bye bye poop.”
Me: “Taj, where do you think the poop is going?”
Taj: “Ummmm, the poop sea I think.”
Me: “Really? Where is that exactly?”
Taj: “I’m not sure, I think it’s by Ohio.”
Me: “Good boy.”
So my 3 year old Taj woke me up at 5 this morning so I could hear his stand up routine. Although most of the jokes didn’t include a punchline, have an ending or really even make much sense, I couldn’t help but think: “Wow, my son is already funnier than Dane Cook…..”.
A 3 year old is kind of like having a blender, a blender without a top.