I am a goddess.

Alright folks…I did it!  “Blogging til I’m born” was a challenge I gave myself to start writing again. I technically missed one day but I have forgiven myself for that. However, today I was born, I am 41 and I am a goddess. Whoa~What?

As I was trying to figure out what to write on this particularly important blog post, I began to take note of anything special happening during my ordinary days.  One of the loudest moments occurred while my family was watching an episode of “America’s Got Talent” ((we love this show!)) A mind reader asked Mel B to think of a unique word to describe herself. Her answer, which was displayed eerily by cards handed out to the audience before she was even asked, was a goddess. She proclaimed that she felt every women is a goddess and suddenly I felt it!  It was seriously like a tingle in my body. I repeated the word to myself a couple times, laughed, felt ridiculous, then repeated it again knowing that I needed to own it. Days later I was in my yoga class in which we all pulled cards at the beginning of our practice. Mine were right on target with this new path I was deciding to own and travel down. As I absorbed their meanings, I looked down and saw the message written right in front of me. Then to seal the deal we were guided through a new daily meditation (I had been seeking a meditation!!) that completely supported this goddess feeling.  It became clear that I needed to embrace this word goddess and the power it holds.

I am completely filled with fresh energy.

The Swan Queen: transformation, intuition, patience #13
The Swan Queen glides your way and asks that you look at your reflection in the events of your life. She gives you the ability to see the beauty that has transformed your life from ignorance to wisdom.
The Swan Queen lets you know that it’s time to go within and seek the answers in your own intuition.

IAM A Goddess– see it says it right there 🙂

Here is why.
In the past few weeks, months, years, I have been having a hard time figuring out my purpose. If you know me you… might think that I have everything figured out. Ha,hahahaha! I don’t<<< and what’s worse is lately my confidence has been taking a beating. This has been partly because of discussions I am having with my son. Talking about careers, college and being motivated to succeed in life, results in questions about my past and choices I have made. I have been lamenting about my decisions to not finish college and building a solid career that actually produces income. I have been coming face to face with the idea that I can do anything I put my mind too, but continue to choose paths that take the longest and are the hardest to travel down. I have been feeling undervalued and not smart enough. My yang and yang have turned into a yo-yo.

Part of this stems from growing up and never really allowing myself to be great or deserving of something awesome. I am a habitual self saboteur, in recovery. I can remember times when an accolade would head my way and I would be quick to downplay it or hand it off completely.  I associated being proud of an accomplishment with becoming self absorbed.  I really suck at being good at stuff. I am great, however, at attracting attention but I am usually being ridiculous. “Class-Clown” It’s a security mechanism.
I have issues. But I am now willing to face them. I have to for myself and to be an example for my kiddos.

Nothing like a selfie to put it on the line 🙂
Special Note* I am wearing my beautiful birthday headpiece today made by a goddess and given to me from Team Girlie…
the original Goddess Crew.

Sooo…your birth-day is a great moment to start over with new things. And when you are “going over the hill” you have a momentum behind you and I have tons of momentum. ((Like all the mistakes I have made and lessons I keep learning, every, single, day.))
But that’s okay “Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me!” Stewart Smalley

So thank you for letting me share these last few weeks of my life with you. I hope to continue…probably not everyday 🙂 but more often than not because it is actually helping me move on in to the next exciting phase of life.
The part where I honor my “self.”

Cheers and have a great day!

I started my day driving under a rainbow to my board meeting with the Flagler County Education Foundation.
They are awesome folks, who do amazing things for our local kids and they sang me Happy Birthday too! 

Be Vulnerable
Be Brave
Be Flexible
Be Open
Be Trusting