Dear K.C. 7-13-2016

Yesterday something crazy happened. The idea to host a question and answer forum with a word lunatic at the helm has taken this site by storm.  I have to admit that when the questions first started rolling in I wondered, “What kind of murky waters did I get myself into?”  But I think it is starting to flow.  So… for the folks who don’t like to rock the boat, you should stop reading now.  The rest of you crazy people, hope you enjoy the ride~



People ask me weird questions all the time. “K.C., What are some of the bigger drawbacks of surfing naked?” or “Have you ever pooped your pants as an adult, while driving?” or “Who are you and what are you doing in my kitchen at 3 a.m.?”, and so on and so forth, you get the idea. I figured as long as I’m fielding strange questions from my family and friends, I might as well let the general public get in on the mix. 
Ask me anything, no topics are off limits and your identity will be kept anonymous. 
What makes me qualified to answer general questions about life? Nothing at all! But watching a 34 year-old man-child try to give rational answers to complex questions sure will be entertaining, fire away!
I will personally guarantee you fantastic advice and answers in the form of hilarity. 
PS…no worries, you will remain anonymous. Maybe.
Why do they cotton swab the guy’s arm with rubbing alcohol before a lethal injection?

Good question. I’d say it goes back to people in position to take someone’s life but they still want to cling on to a shred of humanity. Yeah, I’m going to kill you, but I’m trying to be cool about it. We see it in everyday acts throughout our lives. Say you just got into a bar fight and you’re both exhausted and decide it’s over. You both get up and give each other a bro hug. Or you just made sweet, sweet love to your lady. You don’t just leave her laying there to deal with the mess, you throw her a towel because you are a goddamn gentleman. That or it’s just habit and no one has bothered to question it until now. 

What’s the rage with yoga? People say namaste like they are saying hello. Or oh yeah watch me do this headstand or this arm balance or look I can almost do a split. As a  true yogi for over 12 years this angers me. How may I politely ask them to get a f**king grip?

Well I can only tell you why I got into yoga. I had just gotten out of a toxic relationship and wanted to meet some pretty girls and a friend brought me with her to check it out. I was not disappointed. After a few classes I was dating the instructor. We went on to have a very enjoyable, and flexible, 9 months together. I got pretty bored with it after a while though, as I’d imagine most people do that aren’t hardcore yogis like yourself. I don’t think I can, however, in good conscience tell the fair-weather yoga practitioners to go find a different hobby though. Mainly because I’ve seen how you all look in yoga pants and I would have to kick my own ass if I put a stop to it. 

Dear Kyle,

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Got any home remedies?  

P.S. I would highly advise you to get your bedding cleaned and sanitized. Good times. Wink-Wink.

That’s scabies sweetheart. And stop contacting me Taylor Swift, I told you we are through. Rub some dirt on it and get back out there champ

So, I have this daughter. She reminds me way to much of someone. She’s pig headed, selfish, fiscally irresponsible. She actually reminds me of someone but I can’t name “names”.. I’m afraid she won’t grow up into a mature adult. All she ever wants to do is eat damn tacos. I mean really!! How many tacos can a teenage girl consume? She has now taken to giving advice to the neighborhood kids. I can see the neighborhood going downhill and downwind.. I just really don’t know how to solve this. K.C you have to help me.

You’re truly,

The Oldest of Three


Ok, first mistake: bashing tacos. Honestly I’m too furious to even answer this question. I hope your daughter farts in your mouth while you are sleeping. 

So what is your question?
Send it to [email protected] with “Need Advice” in the subject line and K.C. will hook you up.

Answers to questions will be posted each Monday for your reading pleasure 🙂